The Heart Wants What It Wants

I want to wake up every morning at 7:00 a.m. well rested with 7-8 hours of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.

I want my cat, Jax, who I have attempted to train also to wake me up no later than 7:00 a.m.

I want to sit on my balcony every morning with my mug of warm water and lemon, notebook, and freely write.

I want to read inspiration from Mary Oliver and other poets.

I want to feel the stillness of the morning to mirror the inner solitude within me.

I want to write and read freely with pleasure—void of the urgency or plan to “begin” my day.

I want to have a backyard and a quiet wraparound porch to evolve my morning ritual – the spacious home I can call my own.

I want my little section of earth where the distant hum of the freeway doesn’t exist or the noise of the blower from the landscape company that just pulled up because I got to the balcony after 9:00 a.m. due to another restless night.

I want to write and create freely without the push or pull.

I want spacious days and work that feels expansive and free.

I want to sustain my daily walks and time spent in nature, such as I have since COVID-19.

I want a simple life filled with the joys of all the things I pleasure and promote happiness, peace, health, and well-being.

I want to be free from suffering.

I want all beings to be free from suffering.

I want to live wild, wise, and strong, confident, and to trust my inner wisdom.

I want relationships with deep passion and intimacy, an authentic connection.

I want long slow yoga practices, followed by subtle, still meditation.

I want the melody of chanting to infuse my spirit with inner tranquility.

I want to expand my capacity to love, hold compassion, forgiveness – offer this gift to self and others.

I want to see through a clear lens.

I want to be aware of and connected to the present moment.

I want genuine acceptance.

I want a stable, sturdy base like the trunk of a tree and my branches to flow in the wind.

I want to be flexible, to allow my branches and leaves to fall with the turning of the season.

I want to release and let go of past judgment, pain, and stories I repeat.

I want to trust that in the release, I am creating space and opportunity for new life to develop and birth.

I never want to stop my wonder. To always be Alice chasing the White Rabbit dressed in a waistcoat down the rabbit hole, discovering a whole new kingdom of magic inside – my quest towards my inner knowing.

I want to thrive in health and life but never want to push or exhaust myself to pay the bills or imprint success.

I never want to forget that I am inherently valuable.

I want to always practice and experiment life with bright blue eyes and an open, compassionate heart.

I want to trust in the life intended to unfold as I align with my aspirations and dreams.

I want to be fluid with my passion and purpose in life – always changing, shifting, and transforming.

I want to live like Scarlet O’Hara in Gone With The Wind, big dresses, and a fierce fire of creation.

I want to get my strength from the red earth of Tara, a place to ground and call home, inspire faith and trust.

I want a home on the lake, tucked in the mountains.

I want to roam free and smell the Pines, hear the whisper of the wind, and paddleboard into the sun as it floats towards the horizon.

I want to lead and teach, to be of service to women, young girls, humans, and animals—the environment.

I want to embrace my emotions, turn towards them with a brave heart.

I want to turn irritation into creation.

I want to continue my spiritual journey.

I want to forever be a student, a leader, and to inspire myself and others to unbecome to become.