When the Heart Waits
"When the hearts weeps for what it has lost / The spirit laughs for what it has found." Unknown.
Today, September 22, 2020, marks the first day of Autumn in the Northern Hemisphere. The days will gradually grow shorter and shorter until the winter solstice's longest night arrives.
Autumn is a time for pumpkins and timeless traditions, cozy sweaters, warm blankets, slowing down and turning inward, gathering, and harvesting. A time, if we allow, splendid for reflection and rest. A time for letting go.
Letting go can feel overwhelming and difficult, yet it is a vital lesson to learn. In life, we find ourselves clinging to the past, what was, and in the very nature of clinging, we shrink, we limit ourselves to possibility and growth.
Traditional Chinese Medicine acknowledges that grief and sadness are the primary emotions of Autumn, which, when tended to, are transmuted into courage. Courage is the needed companion to letting go; it is the promise that though we risk falling, risk losing a part of ourselves, we dare to sit in the darkness without our security blanket and welcome the gentle uprooting - taking to heart the awakening of the soul.
Recently I received soul-crushing news, masked in disappointment, leaving me with a multitude of whys. Why did this happen? Why now? What will happen next, and do I have the courage to do it on my own? I held tight focus on the door that closed without control or consent, reaching for conclusion and answers that would never reveal.
This year has brought disappointment to many. The closing of one door can hold us hostage in disillusionment so much so we cannot visualize the idea of another door waiting or perhaps one that is pried open because we are so focused on the one that closed and the pain associated. Once the sting of betrayal or injustice passes, we find ourselves at a crossroads. With a shift in perspective and clear aspiration to practice, we can start fresh or self-indulge in old patterns and relating ways. We can step forward into the darkness, space in-between, and wait. Wait for the heart to reveal direction, to become and ignite.
"The fruit of letting go is birth." ~ Meister Eckhart.
Life throws us curveballs, and in large and small ways, we are asked to cooperate with the inevitability of change. In learning to let go, we are guided back to a place within, founded on trust and something much more significant than us.
Unanticipated change (which is the nature of change) is a reminder that we are not in control of what binds us, of what holds us together, and at any moment, the rug can be pulled out from underneath. The thread that has us so perfectly wound and tied together splits, and the way of being of which we hung so tight begins to unravel.
The question then becomes not how we resist and cling to what was, but how do we embrace the change surrendering to what is? Do we allow the heaviness of disappointment to take hold of our hearts, or do we allow for a greater sense of freedom and expansion?
For the conception of our True Self (as defined by C. G. Jung to be a dimension of our human personality, called the Self with a capital S) to move to its fullness, we must befriend quiet, allow for a time to be reflective.
As we move into the darker days, I am making a sincere wish to lay all the doubt and questions down, to let go of what is not and rest in the discomfort and excitement of what is – to listen and allow whatever chapter is next to manifest and emerge in its own time. To create space for courage, creativity and wisdom to alchemize, taking in what is needed and letting go what is holding me back.
When you let go, you grow still and silent. You honor and embrace the unique process and journey to unfold with grace, patience, and a deeper knowing that all will emerge in its own time. To let be and cooperate with the beautiful mystery unfolding within.