Wild Terrain

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
// Mary Oliver

This year has been a work of art, a unique palette of emotions. A wild terrain left to navigate without a clear roadmap or guide. A desert dry still saturated in silver linings and blessings. A mountain range centered on stability with extreme peaks of sorrow and strength. Valleys of mystery and dark and fluid waters of contentment coursing down the rocky slopes finding refuge in the gorge of grace and gratitude.

Here we are, seven months in the thick of a pandemic, a climate dense in political and racial injustice, hate, and blame leaving a country and an ideal divided. While bracing climate change and environmental destruction and loss, changing the course of where and how we live.

We are in lonely times, yet it is the very same thread of despair that binds us. A reminder that indeed we are not alone in tragedy and heartbreak. In our moments of anger, disappointment, overwhelm, and exhaust.

We are also in an opportune time to reflect, slow the pace of life, and implement nourishing self-care. To redefine and discover our meaning of "success" and get curious about what it means to touch life's richness - a test of compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and love.

The last seven months awarded new beginnings and excitement, growth and insight, and letting go. Sometimes kicking and screaming, but ultimately, with a gesture of grace. I started to question the stories I told and watched the harmful conversations I keep to myself. I exerted effort in areas of my life run by habit and condition, belief structures that hold a great deal of momentum and resistance. I fostered rituals and polished my skillset to shape, simplify, and refine my aspirations. With support, I have been and continue to be accountable, faithful, and consistent long enough to see the fruits of my labor. If I stay the course, and I intend to wholeheartedly, as for me, there is no other option, my practices will continue to offer a lifetime of support and grounding.

Each day we are asked to face the inevitability of change. To follow the path of least resistance or to brave our hearts and take the road of uncertainty and discomfort. We have the power of choice. To question and seek a deeper understanding. To relate, shift, and recalibrate to the external and internal circumstances that make up our lives with attention, interest, and kindness.

We have the option to prioritize with intention or succumb to the false sense of urgency that drapes our culture. We have the choice to practice and live with an awareness that this moment, this breath, could be our last and of those dear to us.

How will you relate to the circumstances of change, of that which is life? Will it be with grace and sweet surrender, or will you armor up and brace for a battle?

I was having a conversation with my dear friend, who is in her 80's. She recently lost her husband and, within a few months, sold their home where she once lived. She held herself "together" for the beginning of our conversation until she started to cry. Though it was a relief, I could sense hesitation in her voice. She struggled to hold back the tears and said, "I have been a good girl for months." Implying she didn't allow herself to cry, to feel. I later shared that she lived a wonderful life and loved deeply, and to deeply love means, we will also experience deep moments of sorrow and grief.

To be deeply human is to feel deeply. To deeply love means we will deeply suffer; one does not exist without the other. It comes down to a sincere and tender promise to be gentle and honor our process - our unique journey that makes our lives.

To accept and allow the circumstances of life is not a passive approach to failure and regret. Acceptance is to touch upon the beauty that composes our existence without a fight. Acceptance is embracing the discomfort and vulnerability until we soften and open our hearts.

Acceptance is witnessing another's very human journey with curiosity and holding space for their process. Acceptance is faith the Universe offers heartache and challenge not to overwhelm and betray but to shine a light on what we may be avoiding. Illuminating beliefs that no longer support, echoing our courage, capacity, and resilience. To align and empower us to excavate our way to the gold and touch the very truth of who we are – an unchanging sea of silence, bliss, and peace.

Our stories differ, but our shame and suffering, delight, and pleasure narrates among many. To foster the intimate connection we all crave, we must continue to brave our hearts, dare to lead, and share our stories.